Boundary Setting

Updated: Jul 2

Protect Your Space, Protect Your Peace


For most of my life, I struggled with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. It came from a place of lack. Lack of self-worth, lack of confidence, and a lack of intrapersonal stability. I wanted to please others because I didn’t believe they would like me if I didn’t do what they asked me to do. I didn’t have the confidence to say “yes” to sharing my talents, missing out on important opportunities for growth. I didn’t feel like I had enough resources to say “no” to taking on problems that were not meant for me.



The result of poor boundaries was burnout and ill health that reinforced the underlying feelings of not being, doing, or having enough. I often felt powerless to remove myself from the cycle of lack because I had no idea what having boundaries meant. What do they look like? How can I use them in everyday situations? Are boundaries a one-size fits all concept? Can they remain fluid depending on the context?

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The journey of self-empowered boundary setting involved a process of trial and error. This process included positive affirmations and story re-writing to boost self-esteem and improve self-confidence so that I could say “yes” from a place of abundance and “no” from a place of love. Part of the journey required me to remove familiar people, places, and events that were draining or causing harm. Along the way, I discovered the importance of allowing nature to help me release negativity, reclaim my personal power, and protect my space.


Over the next three months, I will post a series of blogs on the topics of boundary setting, energy shielding, and working with the natural elements.


What Are Boundaries?


For this series, we are going to define healthy boundaries as “a set of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual guidelines that are intended to protect your entire being from harmful, unwanted, and unhealthy energies while empowering you to say “yes” to living your dream life and to say “no” to people, places, and situations that do not serve your best interests and highest good, therefore releasing you from everything that is holding you back.”

“a set of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual guidelines that are intended to protect your entire being from harmful, unwanted, and unhealthy energies while empowering you to say “yes” to living your dream life and to say “no” to people, places, and situations that do not serve your best interests and highest good, therefore releasing you from everything that is holding you back.”

This article will cover mental and physical boundaries – what they are and some examples of how to set them. Note: Not everything mentioned here will apply to every situation since body language and nonverbal communication varies across cultures.


How to Set Healthy Mental and Physical Boundaries


One of the most challenging aspects can be maintaining consistent boundaries in situations where completely removing a toxic person or situation is not possible. In these cases, it is especially important to establish healthy boundaries in thought, word, and action so you can protect your space and create a better sense of peace in presence.


Mental Boundaries


Mental boundaries can be something you set for yourself to shift your thought processes. For example, I struggled with obsessive compulsive thoughts as the result of being in a relationship where I was told that what I said was not what was said and that my reality was not actually reality (gaslighting). When I find myself ruminating on a negative thought or going over a conversation again, and again, and again… I stopped myself and repeated the positive affirmation “I am present, I am here, I am in this moment,” in place of the obsessive thought. Once centered, I shifted my focus to a positive mental task such as reading a non-triggering book or doing a re-writing exercise. Since thought often precedes word and/or action, being mentally present in the moment allows for healthier self-talk and more effective communication with others.

“I am present. I am here. I am in this moment.”

Physical Boundaries


Physical boundaries can be barriers you put between you and another person such as doors, fences, and windows. Sometimes physical boundaries can be as simple gesture like putting hand up with the palm facing out, communicating a clear message: “STOP, DO NOT PROCEED.” Another way to protect your physical space is to set limits on electronic communication. Disconnecting from the digital world can be a powerful way to set boundaries for yourself. Physically turning off your phone, not responding to texts, phone calls, or emails for a few minutes to a few hours can give you an opportunity to mentally decompress, reset, and come back refreshed and ready to communicate with the outside world again.



"Disconnecting from the digital world can be a powerful way to set boundaries"


Other Ways to Set Healthy Mental/Physical Boundaries


There are many other ways to set healthy mental and physical boundaries that can help you protect your space and protect your peace. The next few articles will cover in more detail what mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries look like and how to consistently set them in a variety of situations.


Schedule your free co-creation call to receive customized guidance on how to set boundaries in your life.



Up Next...


Next month, we will discuss what emotional and spiritual boundaries and how to set them.

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